eK! is electronic Kabalen, a web-exclusive Kapampangan journal of ideas

papa osmubal
oscar balajadia MAPILAN KARENG 'ayatollah' na ning panyulat a Kapampangan misdan la't mikamas pauli ning metung kung sinulat dikil keng kabilyan ning kawatasan a Kapampangan ampon deng watas a susulat keng lawun a paralan mangga man ngening malapit ne ing kapupusan ning yatu. Ali ku naman pake ing ituknang da ing kasalungsungan dang gagawan deng watas a reni, nung e buri ku sa mibusni la pa reng aliwang pasbul ampong awang bang keng upayang dakal la reng makasilip ampong manakit keng nung makananu ya kalagu ing king kilub ning yatu ning kawatasan.

Tinayis do reng 'ayatollah' ning panyulat a Kapampangan deng karelang kampilan ampong dila at minatna lang milalablab a mata. Atin metung karela, keng sakit na lub, e na na akimkim ing muwa na't giligit, buri na pa rugung manayimik naku mu't bitbitan ku namu kanu't dala keng kutkutan ku nanu man ing pamalak ku't kapanamdaman. Ngana pang dinagdag ning metung a 'ayatollah' a e ku kanu dapat mikakalat bage-bage kalupa nitang sinulat kung ita, lalu't ala ku kanung apakit patune misulat a apaltutu na ing pinyabi ku ketang sinulat ku. Ba e na wari balu na pangsarili kung atu ampong kapanamdaman itang sinulat kung ita? Itang metung dininan naku pang ditak a pamagaral nung makananu kung gumamit APA ampong MLA bang patutuwan ing pinyulat ku. O neng nung e ustu, e kasi usto. O't dapat de pang patutuwan deng aliwang talasulat ing sinulat ku, lalu pa't tagana namang pangsarili ku mung panlalawe itang sinulat ku. Ta makananu ka. Den pang watas deng bisang damusak keng karapatan ning metung a tawu a misiwalat keng kayang pilubluban ampong pamisip. Marok a palatanda ini. Taganang mibabagsak ne ing kabiyasnan ning tawu. Deng talasulat ila reng sesese kareng ulad a balang aldo ilang ngatngat keng laman da. Midadagusdus tana pabalik keng makapangilabut a panawun ning dalumdum.

Ngana naman ning metung karening 'ayatollah', "Ing Kapampangan, Kapampangan ya. Ing Tagalug, Tagalug ya." O't kanu pitutulid ko reng amanung areti ngeni kanung marayu naman tagana ing pilatan da't maragul ing pamikayaliwa ra reng kabilyan da reng balang metung kareng metunggeng amanung a reni. Wa tagana naman, aliwa lang aliwa reng amanung mesabing a ren, ala naman taganang amanung milupang-milupa. Oneng aliwa naman ing pisasabiyan ita. Ing taganang pisasabyan "Reng amanu, amanu la." Ing buri kung sabyan, ing agyu nang daptan ning Amanung Tagalug, agyu neng daptan ning Amanung Siswan. Ing agyu nang daptan ning Amanung Inglis, agyu neng daptan ning Amanung Siswan. Ining watas a sinalabat keng pisasabiyan a ini bababa ne ing sarili nang amanu. E ne paniwalan ing kagiwan na't agyung abutan ning Amanung Siswan. Yaku maniwala kung nung makasulat ya i Patchen o i Heaney ampon i Plath keng Amanung Inglis keng paralan a buri ra, agyu tamu mu naman gawan ita keng Kapampangan, uli'ng maragul ku kapanwalan keng agyu nang gawan ampong karasan ning Amanung Siswan. Metung pa pante-pante la mu reng amanu keti yatu, alang mabangbang amanu, alang matas, alang maynang amanu, alang masikan, alang maklak, alang matni. Deng sablang amanu keti yatu paraparewu la agyung dasan, paraparewu la agyung gawan.

Itang sinulat ku misulat ya keng "pabiru ampong mapamusit" a paralan. E ya malalam, bang ating upayang maging yang timawa ing dagus ning pisasabiyan, ketang paralan a balamu pekisabyan me ing kakaluguran mung malambat nu nang kabasa. Makanita ne man tagana datang ampong tsup itang sinulat ku, dapot e re ikwang arakap reng aliwa ing buri kung ipasyag. Itang mamusit ka, kabang atin kang mamayat-mayat a bage buring sabyan. Mapamiru ya. Oneng balu ta naman taganang keng pamibiru-biru ating sasakit lub, atin mapipikun. Balu kung malyari ita kabang susulat ke itang sinulat kung ita. Oneng balu tamu mu naman na ating mabayat a kasangkanan o ba't ating mapipikun kareng biru. Neng kayi tututu ya ing biru anya pin neng kayi reng aliwa e ra buri ing bibiruwan. Masakit ya ing biru, ngara wari, nung tutu ya. Mamamin ku mangulami ya itang sinulat ku, anya atin mekulami.

Sineryan ku mu naman maglaganas ketang sinulat ku. Uli'ng ikatamu ngan atin tamung dake keng malilyari. Matsura naman itang manuldu kung tunggal-tunggal ampong manungge lagyu. Ba nang malagwa ing pisasabiyan, leganasan ke, bangkanita reta namung dapat mituran ila reng mituran. Anya ngeni naman meyakit tagana nung ninu reng mengaturan. E ku naman siseryan kasi ala naku man tildung tawu ampon ala naku man tinunggen lagyu. Mengasuksuk la't mengatalmak retang dapat mangasuksuk ampong mangatalmak, ngara pin. E ku naman pagsisisyan a milyari ita't miras keng makanini. O kasi kanyan ngeni mimasmas tana mu ampong abalu tamu nung nanu ing keng sumangid na ning pisasabiyan.

Ngana pa ning metung kareng 'ayatollah' ning panyulat a Kapampangan, ninu kanu yaku't mangamanu kung makanini't atuwan ko reng watas ampo ing paralan ning pamanyulat da kabang yaku ali naku man kanu biyasang sumulat kawatasan ken makananu man kanung paralan, lawun ya man o makabayu. Wa, aminan ku e ku biyasang sumulat kawatasan, uli'ng e na ku man watas. Dapot e yo pipinpin deng kekong talabasa, at metung ku kareta. Ikaming talabasa atin kami mu naman upayang matu ampong mangamanu dikil keng nanu mang susulat da reng watas ampong talasulat. E na buring sabyan a nung ing metung a tawu e ya biyasang sumulat kawatasan e ya malyaring matu keng malilyari keng kabilyan ning kalinangan ampon kawatasan a Kapampangan. Aliwa mu reng watas ila reng atin kagiwan ampong karapatan a matu kareng kawatasan a misusulat. E masanting ita. E masampat ita. Ikami man talabasa, makanyan man at e ke biyasang sumulat kawatasan, atin kami naman kagiwan ampong karapatan matu kareng misusulat. Ali wari ikayung watas susulat kayu bang ating upayang apabasa yo kekaming talabasa reng susulat yu? O't e yu kami buring matu kareng susulat yu? Buri yu ika-ikayu namung watas ing mamasa kareng susulat yu't ika-ikayu namu naman deng matu karene? Ba papaten yu neng sadya ing kawatasan nung makanyan, kasi lalako yo upaya reng kekong talabasa.

Ngana naman ning metung pang 'ayatollah' o ba't kanu pabisu-bisu kung mangamanu. Ngana wari ala ya kanung kapanupayan ing kanakung pamanatu ampon pamangamanu. Atin talasulat kawatasan, ngana pa ning metung, a mamamisali la mung nung nanu-nanu kareng dalan-dalan bangkanita atin lang kapanakitan ampon deng aliwa mamamasada la mung traysikel patse e la susulat kawatasan. Sana naman dugu ataruk de ing taganang buri kung sabyan. Kasi e sangkan na mamagtinda ka o mamasadang traysikel e mu ne samasnan ampon isulung ing kekang panyulat. Ing kalinangan mapamusit ya pin neng kayi, kasi nung sanu pa reng pekakalulung talasulat ampong talalalang ila pa reng pekamatenakan ampon pekabiyasa. Dakal a watas ampong talasulat a tutung kalulu, dapot ing kakaluluwan da e meging sangkan ban e re apasulung ing panyulat da't belwan. Sana keng Kapampangan ya ing malilyari mu naman ini! E ku balu nung mangapaayli ku o makulami keng makanining panlalawe keng kalalangan ampon kareng lalalang.

Metung pa e masanting itang mipapanupaya na la mu reng lalalang. Keng kalalangan e masanting ing panugaling makantita. Dapat tamung abalu a maragul ya pamikayaliwa ing kapanupayan keng katapatan. Wa, dapat misawup-sawup la reng lalalang, oneng dapat arapan da ing taganang katungkulan da't dapat dang gawan—itang maging tawus la't tapat kareng balang metung karela. Dapat antabayanan ne ning metung ing kayabe nang lalalang (ampong nung malyaring itulak me, itulak na ne pin man, angga man ketang mangasubsub ya't mangasugat) bangkanita mu ayabut na itang bage ali na man isipan a agyu na palang abutan. O't e mu mo asabi keng kayabe mung lalalang na atin ditak a pamagkulang keng gagawan na? Ali itang sabyan mung masanting ya ing gagawan na, ngening ing tutu na e ne man taganang masanting. Ba, mumutingan me mu ing kayabe mung lalalang patse gewa mu ita. Metung pa mumutingan me mu naman ing sarili mu kanita. Anya parewu nakayu mung mamuting-muting kanita.

Atin namang metung linawut ne pa ing pisasabyan o't kanu pakiyalaman ke ing kawatasan Kapampangan kabang ala naku man belwan keng paksang ini, kaybat kabud-kabud pin (kalupa na ning asabi ku na) elilan ne ing pisasabyan, o ba't yaku kanu e na ku man Isik dapot lalalang kung gulis pang-Isik. Kasi kanu ikit no keng nung nukarin deng mapilan kung ginulis keng paralan pang-Isik. Tuknang naku kanung pagpasyag kapanamdaman ku dikil keng kawatasan Kapampangan at gumulis naku mung gulis pang-Isik. Sablang e ku balu o't peparas ne keng makanini ing pisasabiyan. Kukutang na nung makananu lang malyaring mibili reng gugulis ku keng kalinangan ampong kalalangan ning Pilipinas ngeni kanung e no man megawa keng paralan Pilipinu. Makanita ya wari kakitid ampong kababo ing panlalawe na't pangimut ning metung a Pilipinu keng kalinangan ampong kalalangan? Makasara ya wari panlalawe't panimanman ing Pilipinas kareng kalalangan ampong kalinangan a sisibul-bubulwak keng luwal? E na wari buring abalu ning Pilipinas na atin palang kalalangan ampong kalinangan kareng kasumangid da reng kadayatmalatan? Makanyan man pamagsisti ne ing ditak kung belwan keng pamangulis keng paralan pang-Isik, uli kanung ya mu kabud balu kung gawan ini, at e la malyari keng Pilipinas deng makanining lalang. Wa, ya mu kabud balu kung gawan ita, dapot makatas ku kanuwan a pagmaragul ku na atin kung ditak a balu keng bage makaparikil keng kalinangan ampong kalalangan. Ali itang bitasang ala kung balu. Ya man diling balu kung gawan ita, gagawan ku ing keganaganang agyu ku bang isulung ke't palaguwan uli'ng maragul a kasalanan ampon pamagkulang itang midinan kang belwan kaybat e me man buring munlad ampon sumulung iti. Maragul a kasalanan ampong pamagkulang keng kabiyasnan ning tawu ampon keng kalikasan a paburen meng mitiyangyang ampong magutut ing belwan a mike keka. Ya ing buri kung sabyan ita. Dapat yang misalbag ing belwan ampong kapamarlanan ning pamanyulat kawatasan Kapampangan, ali itang ditak la mu reng paralan, nung e dapat miyaliwa la reng paralan bangkanita miyaliwa la mu naman deng sumulat ampong mamasa. Matsura wari't tantung marok ing buri kung malyaring ita?

Ngeni naman atin metung kareng 'ayatollah' a sinulat metung a kawatasan makaparikil kanaku. Keng kawatasan na, nganang kukutang, ing sanu kanu ing migit kung buri—ing lugud ku keng labuwad ko o ing belwan kung ibat kareng miyaliwang marayung labuwad? Ini metung ya kareng marakal a kutang da kanaku reng watas a menamdaman keng sinulat ku, dapot deng kutang a reta, kambe nining mesiwalat a kutang a ini, e la karapat-dapat pakibatan. Kasi neng kayi atiyu ne keng kutang ing pekapakibat. Ing namung mangutang ya na ing balang makibat keng kutang na. Masakit ampon makakulami yang diling pakiyarapan ampong patulan ing metung a tawung balu ne ing pakibat na keng kayang kutang, anya malyari neng pilawut-lawut ampong pilisya-lisya ing pisasabyan, uling ing pake na ing mitalabu ka't atabili mu ing tatalakaran mu. Ing pake na't pamalak itang ibatbat na ka, ali itang isulung ne ing kabiyasnan ning tawu. Keng kutang ning watas a ini, ba, anti tanala mu naman pipirayitnan deng sarili tamu. Ing lugud keng labwad mung tibwan, lugud ya dapat pasulung, e ya lugud pawurung. Ing lugud keng labwad mung tibwan, lugud ya dapat lalabung, e ya lugud malalanat. Ing buri na mong ipakit ampong isiwalat ning watas a ini itang itabili tamu ing keganaganang mawulaga keng biye tamu bang ating upayang apakit tamu ing lugud tamu keng bangsa tamu. Ba, e masanting ita. E ta tatabili ing sablang makasanting ampong makasulung keng bangsa tamu. Ing lugud dapat yang ating apasaring masanting, e matsura. Nung kaluguran me ing bangsa mu, isulung me, e me paburen mumurung, e me paburen mangalulu. Nanu ya wari ing ulaga ning lugud nung makasura ya keng bangsa mu. Nanu ya wari ing lugud nung makapasari yang e masanting keng bangsa mu. Balang metung kekatamu dapat itas ne ing belwan na at talnan na't kunan ing bage-bage mangasanting keng ikasulung ning bangsa na, ali itang itabili na iti.

Ketang metung a 'ayatollah' ning panyulat a Kapampangan a mengamanung ala ku kanung belwan keng pamanyulat kawatasan ampon keng kasalesayan ning kawatasan Kapampangan anya ala kung karapatan makiyalam keng paksang ini, sana pu dinan yu kung dakal a pamagaral kapamilatan da reng kekayung kawatasan ampong nanu mang susulat yu. Metung kung talabasa, anya ikayung watas dapat dinan yu kung masanting a pamagaral kareng paralan ning kekayung pamanyulat.


[About the author. Papa Osmubal is Oscar Balajadia of Magalang (Well, don't get fooled by that name), now a Macau resident (Sorry, where?) and married to a Chinese local (How? How come? Why?). He has been a Catholic seminarian (OK, he once opened a book at an exam in Latin and Romance Languages---but who in frigging hell did not?), a Catholic missionary (Oh, the rosary is the answer to our country's economic problems and to your alcoholism and addiction to nicotine!), a bookstore staffer (Yes, sir, listen here, we know it is urgent, so your book is on its way from Guangzhou and will be here in 8 months!), a librarian (Oh, it's Friday the 13th and I am not putting 666 as Dewey call number on this bloody book!), and a teaching assistant (OK, pal, I know you prepared for the exams so I will check and mark them!). He is currently a teacher (yawn) and has an M.A. in English Studies (yawn even more, nod off, and then snore) from the University of Macau (sorry again, where?).]

-Posted: 8:25 PM 9/27/09 | More of this author on eK!
WHAT THEY SAY...

Tec Sanchez-Tolosa (Manila, Philippines) writes...

Tutu kaya na ring magaling mangamanu at sumulat, detang sane na ilang pakiramdaman da reng tau, magkasakit lang makiramdam at manatindi karing aliwa?

Nung ing gawan kung basehan ining kaduang sinulat mu, ing pakibat ku malakas at mamaksing a "Wa!"

Balu mo, e sana binang masakit makibat kareng pasaring mu at pamanyaus-lagyu (this very immature and ungentlemanly name-calling) nung e ku mu intindian ing pareu katang talasulat keng eK!

(Dapot, kaibat kung sinabi iti, anti ra ka mong akakit mitatas a kile at mangamanu, "A, talasulat ka naman keni? E ra ka kasi kilala.")

Because, you see, that is what impassioned, fired-up writing sometimes does—it gives your reader an idea of what you are inside, behind the analytical, critical and very opinionated treatises that you dish out.

Honestly, I did not even get to the end of your second article—after so many "ayatollah's" I just had to let it go. If there is one thing I find more deplorable and intolerable than hysterical girls embarking on name-calling, it is grown men doing so. But I did get as far as to see what you have raised about my points, which I am quick to clarify now.

Sana nung binasa mu kung masalese, ikit mu ing buri kung sabian. When I illustrated that some poets lead very simple, frugal lives, I did not mean to say that they should be immune from—or be less accountable for—mastering their craft. I only meant that they—like many Filipinos who did not have the chance to be comfortable, wealthy or priviledged—have few treasures they hold close to their hearts. Kalupa da mo reng galal a tinggap da, like the title of Poeta Laureado—the titles you have so blatantly and nonchalantly lambasted, decried, nilait-lait ampong pigdakurak.

Oh Papa, Papa...you could have been so much more.

Nung ing pake mu king minuna mung sinulat ya pin ing mamuska, migtagumpe kang maragul. Palakpakan, palakpakan! Uling dakal ka abuska, apamwa, at apatas a prisyun. At ing mapaling kapanamdaman dakal ya agagawa...pangimut, pangamanu, but most definitely, not inaction and apathy. And that fervor, I hope, will work towards the benefit of the Kapampangan language that we all label ourselves as lovers and children of.

Siguradu ku dakal la pang makibat keka kaibat da kang abasa. Hooray! A writer always celebrates when he is read, whatever way that is done. But understanding that this may evolve into a never-ending wordwar between you and the view that opposes yours, let me stop here and be the gentleman. The floor is all yours.

-Posted/Via Email: 2009-09-27 07:44:51 PDT



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