OKAY, SINCE I am generally kind, I will inform you of my latest
endeavors. What have I been doing since this writing
contribution? I have written about how writing comes very
difficult to me. I have thought about why I have writer's block
this bad. I am more repressed than necessary. There are a million
things on my mind that are stifling my creativity. I am so old
already. Too much drive unattended. There's so much left in the
gutter. There is no way for proper blossoming in a place like
I know why writing can come across as that. I am different as
different can be. I have interests that are gaping wide open,
waiting for me to venture into. Too little sunshine as well. I
feel the need to go out at least twice a week. That is when I am
free to look around the province of Pampanga and think of things.
I wonder if there are people who retire early, especially if
their lives have already been rather illustrious and colorful.
Creative people are often the case in this scenario, I mean; they
will get tired at some point. They don't know what they're
getting into. Then there's me, 23 and already living a life
that's been wrung dry. I've already done everything I'd want; I
was always, ever only free.
I know why people go forwards, if you'd had a taste of it, you'd
go on, especially if it pays well.
I wonder why many other people don't seem to have any opinions or
thoughts about the topics I am into. It's almost like... they're
unchanging. They probably have ugly smiles as well; they wouldn't
be smiling when the day of reckoning comes. Some things really
don't change. I can see right through
I overheard a radio telecast about a boy who was embarrassed to
have never had a girlfriend. I listened to his self-examining
soliloquy, in a letter which was read with awkwardness by a DJ,
about the woes and sorrows such a position, or lack thereof
accorded him. Why are people so close-minded? You'd turn down
someone who would have had his first girl in you? It makes me
wonder just how obtuse Philippine girls can get, especially if
they think they belong when they don't, and will probably be
disinherited anyway, probably for redundant obtuseness.
I am aware that the world is populated by the opposite sex as
well. The same with sunshine, I don't get much from this
occurrence. Well, they're just there. I noticed that boys seem to
be cooler companions. They're nerds, and girls are nerds too. I'm
saying this to protect all my friends, who were all nerds in nerd
ways, but you see, this benevolence on my part robbed the
sentence of the point, which is disparity between the sexes.
I don't mind that I am lacking in certain things. You don't know
what you're missing, when you pass me by the street, but I know
that I'm missing nothing when I pass you by. I feel that I am
alone in my universe. No one is capable of getting in at all;
with the same success I would enter another in the bat of an
I write about things that are my fears. I am fearless, but in
inappropriate things. In blogs, I look for the souls that I want.
I wring them dry. They look like little toys of childhood,
propped against my wall. The blog is free, and I leave it to you
to wonder what I really feel, I am too old, too spent.