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wilfrido david
wilfrido david MAMALAGUA YANG minuli y Tacio. Mapagal ya at babaung pawas, pero ing ugali na karas na keng bale, kaulan at uman ing asawang Rosing keng pisngi—kiss sabay hug. Mapagal ya naman y Rosing, pero ugali na ing manimu at magpulbos bayu ing panyatang nang Tacio. Abang mamangan lang hapunan kayabe ring adwang anak, singkil-singkilan at pasulyapan neng Tacio y Rosing, pakindat-kindat at papatwas-patwas ya kile. A, sabi nang Rosing keng isip na, makamood ne naman ing asawa ku. Kailangan yang panusigan nung ali patingapun yang makabakle kabukasan. Manos yang pinggan y Rosing, lepitan neng Tacio at pasitsit nang sinabi, ''Uuhm, kabanglu mo. Maranun katang matudtud, ne?" Matudtud? Ing lelung mong panut!

The preceding by no means suggests an X-rated scene, but is stark reality—a scenario that is found in the average home of married, or even living-in couples, or any male-female relationships for that matter. Can anyone even remotely hope to change this reality which we all live through from childhood to our Alzheimeric days?

This is the inalterable scenario amongst the ordinary, everyday people who worry about their basic needs before anything else. What is more basic, other than food, than sex? The clergy and the politicos can debate all they want on the RH Bill, whoever wins will be in for a surprise. The average joe couldn't care less. Yes, he looks interested, listens to the pros and cons, but in the end he goes home to his wife to satisfy his urges. What does the priest, or the nun, or the Catholic faithful who ignores this basic instinct in the name of morality and good conscience stand to lose? Sex is not addicting like drugs, liquor, or smoking. It is simply the one thing that all people can enjoy, save those who choose to repress the urge for reasons of their own. We can continue expressing our opinions on this delicate issue and yet not even come to something close to a solution, lest we settle for the status quo. Why hasn't anyone, with all the brilliant arguments, even mentioned, even half-seriously, come forward to mock the issue by hinting on "masturbation"?

But then again, the priest, even the bishop, wouldn't hear of it. It's a mortal sin, and our elders resorted to scaring us out of our wits by saying, "You will go blind if you do it!" So how come the priest and the bishop can still see?! Joking aside, what else can we think of to come up with a middle ground, a meeting point, if you will, except allow spaying or castration or, to put it in more acceptable terms, mandatory vasectomy or tubal ligation.

Then, there is more brainstorming on abortion. It is an indispensable component of the RH Bill, an ingredient that we cannot do without. Like a pregnancy, abortion is something that we can avoid or prevent, the difference is it being an aftermath, an after-the-fact issue, an afterthought! The Church is against it because it is murder: killing a fetus, which the Church and countless others claim as the seed of a human being, the onset of a process culminating in birth. A simple argument would be: Hitler, Stalin, Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein, Muammar Gaddafi, and my favorte Muslim hero, Osama Bin Laden, all of whom, I would assume, were unsuccessful abortions. Does that mean I am for abortion? Well, as in every rule, there is an exception. In this age of modern technology where a CT scan can show the fetus's gender, if it is healthy or perfect (no oversized head, or missing an appendage, or conjoined) then a woman can have her choice. An outright abortion is the mother's choice based, in her mind, on what could be a lifetime of regret.

Nung wari sa keng pamangan, mangapalatut na ku keng RH Bill aini—ditak pa magbulus na ku. Inapag de king lamesa para isubu, langutan, lasaan, pero eku balu nung ayakmul ke. Pilit yang babara keng akmulan ku, pota kailangan ke ing chaser. Aisip ku mu ing kamuritan da reng lalangut kanini (RH adobo), deng aliwa kanyamanan la, deng aliwa mangasanipan, deng aliwa mangapatilak. Aku manikab kung maslam. Deng mangapangisngis, enako susubu, pota yapsa ya mu.

I guess the RH Bill issue is best left to the "intellectuals," the moral crusaders against the "innovators." Both sides have the same purpose in mind, it is just a matter of the end justyfying the means. At the end of the day, it has become nothing more than a conundrum, and it is just as well.

Misan a yaldo, mamalagua ne naman mumuli y Tacio. Maaburido ne uling atin jeepney strike. Mayap na mu mekasake yang tricycle! Obat kaya mamirapal ya? Makamood ne naman? Metung a bage eta mu apalampas keng simpling bie tamu—ustung atin makibirthday kareng anak tamu, agiang magdilihensiya o manutang five-six keng suki tamung Bumbay, e maliaring e ta y-celebrate! Wow, spaghetti, cake at chocolate ice cream! Talagang y Rosa, lagi yang preparadu. Atin pang lobu, kaya mu pin, gawa la kareng condom a atipun dang miasawa a binie ra keng health center. Deng birth control pills naman, suput-suput lang atipun da at binie kang apu na, sabi na vitamins pills la.

This is just an example of how seriously they take the RH Bill. In essence, you can fool some of the people some of the time .... You can accept the condoms and the pills from the health center, but you can also choose how to best use them. This is a free country, let no one make you think otherwise.

The RH Bill? Dump it or ban sex! I say, masturbate. It does not involve any other people, it does assuage your urges, it is self-serving. There is absolutely no risk of getting a sex-related disease, although it can quite possibly make you nearsighted but certainly not blind.

And you can take that to the Vatican.

[About the author. Wilfrido David is a resident of Albuquerque, New Mexico since 1985. He is an avid news consumer, habitually tuned to global TV via satellite. In turn, he occasionally comes up with spiced up essays and anecdotes liberally sprinkled with his wry humor, at times irreverent, oftentimes as corny as corn-on-the-cob, but nontheless thought provoking. He thinks of himself as a "junior senior," a mature gentleman with very active brain cells but a waning testosterone count. He is an American citizen by necessity, not by choice, as he so aptly put it. He is as Kapampangan as sisig, no more, no less.]

-Posted: 11:00 AM 5/31/11 | More of this author on eK!